There is a Reason They Call Them "Beard Clippers"

The Doctors explained that Mom would lose her hair within 2 weeks of her first chemo treatment. After advice from several friends who have had to go through this type of therapy, Mom decided it was best to take that matter in her own hands instead of waiting for the inevitable. ---So she turned the job over to the family, asking Dad to make the premier "cut"... And it wasn't too much longer before we realized there is a significant difference between shears and beard clippers. :) (oops!)

In the end, after some sharp scissor work by Ab, Mom ended up with a short, trendy and cute haircut that looks fabulous on her! So good, in fact, we may just make her wait a couple days before playing Barber Shop again, when we'll have real shears to work with. :)

Story Mitten

Pam Barnhill shares a hilarious story about her family and the "cranial prosthetic." Big Smiles!!!

Colorful Hands

My dear friends, Dana, Owen and Augusta share
a family of hands with Mom.

Katie sends a happy helping hand music mix which will definitely come in handy for the next treatment.

Fish On!!!

Woody sends Mom a real catch!

One Down!!!

Mom has completed her first round of chemo as of this past Thursday and she came out of it like a rock star!!! She was able to eat right from the get-go and her appetite has been level. She even gets up with Dad at 2:30 a.m. (when he goes to work) and has toast and banana's, then goes back to bed to complete a solid night of rest. She wakes with high spirits and keeps on her game face throughout the day, until the mail comes. Her heart is flooded with emotion as she receives so many beautiful cards of encouragement and all of the creative "helping hands" that have been sent her way. She has been overwhelmed by the kindnesses of others. Through each tear she reiterates how very lucky she is.

We look forward to the healing process of the coming weeks. Her next chemo session will be the 7th, 8th and 14th.

Together Hands

Carolyn reminds Mom that these hands will always be there for each other.

Working Hands

Aunt Barbara's hands will provide sourdough bread "as kneeded".

Kate embroiders her inspirational hand.

Creative Hands

Childhood friend, Rena, sends colorful "healing thoughts."

Mary reminds us we only have millions of stars but only one Pam to cherish.

Jeanne doubles down with her hands and the idea to have everyone send theirs along too.

Partner in Crime

Marilyn captures all the adventures over the years.

From the Archives

Larry had to really dig to find this treasure!

A Bouquet of Helping Hands

Cindy Polenske sent an entire bouquet of helping hands. Students from her English class helped make this beautiful arrangement. Each one is personalized and adorable!

A Hand from an Old Friend

Angie grew up with Abbie and I, and our mother's have remained best of friends. She sent a beautiful message with her hand that put a big smile on mom's face.

Olivier's Adventurous Hands

Throughout the holidays, Olivier was with us to help shape a marvelous end to 2007. He is now back in France, taking care of our home and giving a helping hand wherever and however he can. I miss him, as do his friends and family, but we count on him to keep up the adventures and bring home the stories.

Helping Hands from Abroad

Helping Hands from our beautiful friends, Julie and Yannick, from Grenoble, France. The family hopes to see you at the end of this year!!!

Chemo - Day One

Mom had her first day of Chemo yesterday and I woke to have an update in my email box, so I thought I would share her note so you all know how well she did.


My treatment went very well today. The MSTI staff is wonderful! I was pretty nervous going in, but comforted by everyone’s kindness and tender loving care. It’s pretty amazing… As difficult as the port surgery was I am convinced it will have been well worth it in the end. With these little ports there is only one little needle stick each treatment day instead of the multiples of the past. Even though I was still sore from the surgery it was easy. I tolerated the Taxol very well, came home at 3:00, took a nap, ate a wonderful dinner that Andrea dropped by and am now wired and working (one of the steroid drugs they gave me in my chemo today is much like drinking 10 cups of coffee). Don’t worry I have a pill to take when I’m ready to go to bed so I don’t stay awake all night. It’s a big mind shift for me to be putting all of these drugs in my body, but I’m getting there.

...

Mom

YOUR HANDS

Salut Everyone!

After receiving multiple emails from friends who would like to lend a helping hand but are struggling to find a way to do so, a friend of ours, Jeanne, turned us onto an idea.

If you would like to give Pam a helping hand, please take a piece of paper (any paper will do) then trace your hand. You can fill in your hand with a thought, a story, a joke, photos or words of encouragement; anything you can think of that would be great for mom to reach for when she’s in need of strength, encouragement or a smile. You may then mail your helping hand to mom's home address.

If you do not have this, feel free to email Kelli or Abbie and ask for it.

And if you love this idea, then pass it along!

Preparing for the first treatment

Mom's first chemo treatment is tomorrow. She is still bruised and sore from the surgery for the ports, but is doing much much better. She had a great day today! She enjoyed going to work and she also went for a nice walk with Scott. Although she's a bit scared to face the treatment tomorrow, she says she's going to face it like a warrior woman (she's holding a warrior woman -from Denise-in above photo). She also told me today that she is overwhelmed by everyone's kindness, love and support and feels good about having all of you backing her up as she faces this next tough round.

update on Pam's treatment: 01/10/2008

From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 12:38 PM
Subject: update on Pam's treatment
Hello Everyone,
Just a quick update regarding my Mom. Yesterday's procedure was successful but not easy sailing. The Doctor had a difficult time getting the port in her abdomen. As a result she is really sore and really bruised. Additionally, she woke up pretty nauseous and unable to eat. Based on all of this, Dr. Montgomery (the medical oncologist) decided it would be best to have her rest for a week and gain a few pounds. Instead of a Chemo treatment, Mom, Dad and I attended a class where they shared information about what to expect, precautions, etc. It was a bit overwhelming, but helpful.

Her revised schedule is as follows:
Jan. 17th - Taxol chemo through IV (4 hr. session)

Jan. 18th - Platinum chemo through IP (7 hr. session)

Jan. 24th - Taxol chemo through IP (7 hr. session)
She'll repeat the above series of procedures every three weeks for 18 weeks. We assume the second round will now begin February 7th.

As promised, we are sending links to two web sites that Kelli, Dad and I have set up.
Blog site: Pam's Pipeline - Brilliance in the Storminess. Check here for updates and photos. I will continue to send periodic e-mails, but we'll also post shorter more frequent updates and photos on this site. Currently we have all of the e-mails I've sent in the last month posted, along with some photos of Mom and the family. We will try to update it weekly.
http://pamspipeline.blogspot.com/

The second site is a Helping Hands Community - Pam's Pipeline for friends and family to sign up to help out. We have started a calendar listing some miscellaneous items that could be done to help the Parker family. We only have a few things listed now, but we'll add more as we go. Please don't feel obligated - but many of you have asked what can be done and we'd like to use this free service to coordinate and organize. We'd be embarrassed if four people showed up with dinner for the same night. You can link to this from the above blog (helping hands link on left) or directly with this url below.
http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/601865/login/

When you go to this link it will ask if you are "interested in becoming a member of this community?". You'll need to sign up. I'll then "grant" you access and you'll be sent an e-mail from [LHH] prompting you to then set up a user name and password - after which you can view and use the site. The sign up process will take a few steps (sorry) but once you are registered I think you'll agree it is a useful service (it came highly recommended from a few other friends going through chemotherapy).

Thanks again to everyone for your wonderful notes. I continue to read them to my Mom and she enjoys them very much.
Take care,
Abbie, Kelli (and Bruce too)

one month update on Pam, 01/08/2008
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 12:48 AM
Subject: one month update on Pam

Happy New Year Everyone!
It has been one month since my Mom had her surgery. As part of her recovery, Mom enjoyed spending the holidays with family. She especially enjoyed having Kelli and Olivier here for a few weeks from France. Mom is doing well. She still hasn't regained all of her energy, but has improved every day. At her two week visit with the surgeon, he proclaimed that her progress was "unbelievably spectacular". He also told us that the most important step for fighting this cancer and swinging the odds in a person's favor is a thorough surgery. After that he reiterated that this was his most thorough surgery to date.
Coming off the high of the holiday season, we are now faced with the reality that my Mom will begin her chemotherapy treatments soon. It looks like her first round of chemo treatment will begin January 10th. This is Mom and Dad's 38th wedding anniversary. Probably not what they had in mind for celebrating, but the family agrees it is best to begin as soon as possible.
Kelli and I are in the process of setting up a blog for Mom so that we can post updates and photos for all of you to view. We'll also have a web site that you can link to that will list requests and ideas for ways to help Mom. We'll post "needs" and volunteers can sign up and others can see if the need is already being met or not. We hope to have this put together by the end of this week and we'll send it to all of you along with another update on how she is doing during her first round of chemo.
For those of us who prefer more details…here is some information on the pathology report and her treatment regimen:
The pathology report summary for her cancer is as follows

• Grade 3
• Stage IIIC
• the cancer cell type was papillary serous (the most common type for Ovarian Cancer)

Based on our appointment with the medical oncologist today, here is her treatment schedule.

• January 9th - outpatient surgery to place the IV (Intravenous) and IP (Intraperitoneal - in the abdomen) catheter. This should be a one time procedure. If all goes well she'll begin chemo the following day.
• January 10th - day 1 of her first round of chemo. Day 1 entails an ~4hour session and they'll administer Taxol through IV
• January 11th - day 2 of the first round. Day 2 entails an ~7hour session and they'll administer a Platinum drug via IP
• January 17th - day 8 of her first round. Day 8 entails an ~7hour session to administer Taxol via IP
• She then gets a couple of weeks off of treatment and begins this sequence over again. She'll do this three step sequence a total of six times. Assuming we can predict, here is the schedule for her other rounds of treatment.
• Round 2. Jan 31, Feb 1, Feb 7
• Round 3. Feb. 21, Feb. 22, Feb., 28
• Round 4. March 13, March 14, March 20
• Round 5. April 3, April 4, April 10
• Round 6. April 24, April 25, May 1
• The doctor said that the couple of days after the Platinum chemo are the hardest (nausea, vomiting, pain). He refers to these as days 3, 4 and 5 of her treatment and she should expect to be sleeping much of the time and may only be eating bland odorless foods. There is also a chance they will stop doing the IP administration at some point if it is too painful.
• He prescribed a long list of anti-nausea medicine as well as a cranial prosthesis…(an awful term for a wig). I told her that I want her to get one just so we can say, "ya - Mom had to get a cranial prosthesis". She's undecided.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful notes, thoughts and prayers during this time.
All our best,
The Parker Family

Only days after surgery, mom enjoyed the Christmas Holiday with all her loved ones!

1.5 week update - 12/18/2007:
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Tuesday, December 18, 2007 11:47 AM
Subject: 1.5 week update
Greetings Everyone,
It has been a week and a half since my Mom had her surgery. I thought I'd send out a quick note to say she is doing great. The last couple of days have seemed especially good. She is looking more like her radiant self, is sleeping a little less and is starting to laugh more.
She started taking only Ibuprofen to deal with the pain the day after she came home from the hospital and she has taken very little of that for the last three days. You all know well that she is a goal oriented person and she has focused everyday on doing a few things she couldn't do the day before. They are things that you and I take for granted on a daily basis, but for which she's been happy to begin doing again...from standing up on her own to walking up and down stairs and folding laundry. She still has quite a bit of core strength to regain in her abdomen and it is also difficult for her to take deep breaths.
We take her back to see the surgeon on Thursday the 20th. We expect she'll have a checkup and that we'll review the pathology report at that time. We should also be able to schedule the outpatient surgery for the chemo IV and IP catheter which will likely happen in the next couple of weeks. She has an appointment with the medical oncologist (Dr. Montgomery) the 7th of January and expect she'll begin chemo shortly thereafter. We all know that the next several months are going to be really tough, but have already seen how strong my Mom can be.
Thanks again to all of you for continuing to send wonderful notes and letters. I will keep you updated regarding schedules and how she is doing.
Warm Wishes this Holiday Season,
Abbie (and the rest of the Parker family)

Pam is coming home today - 12/11/2007:
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Tuesday, December 11, 2007 7:59 AM
Subject: Pam is coming home today!
Hello Everyone,
Mom is coming home today. They will release her around noon. So - for those of you who were hoping to visit her today it may be best to not go to the hospital. Kelli will be with her at home this afternoon, so call her home number (336-9270) and check in if you'd like to visit.
Thanks to everyone who stopped by yesterday to see her. They were short visits, but she really enjoyed seeing and chatting with folks for a few minutes.
They have removed most of the tubes, IVs, etc. from her body and she is getting around quite well. The doctor continues to reiterate to all of us that she looks great and is doing great. They have lots of little tests and milestones for her - for most of them she is exceeding expectations. There are just a couple of things she is a little behind on, but the doctor told her that people are uncomfortable with over achievers so it's good she isn't breezing through everything.
She is really looking forward to coming home. She is able to eat some now - which is great, but you can surely imagine the complaints about hospital food she is verbalizing given her gourmet homemade food snobbery. The first couple of days she only complained about having to drink out of Styrofoam cups. She also asked a nurse when she came out of surgery for a fresh slice of lemon in her water (the nurse looked at her like she said something in a foreign language). The first non liquid food they gave her was a pudding "snack pack" and she read the ingredients and made a disgusted face. Needless to say we'll have to make a run to the co-op to find some food that meets her standards.
Thanks again to everyone for writing such nice notes and sending well wishes. She said yesterday that she can "feel it" referring to all of the positive energy and prayers coming her way.
Take care,
Abbie

Sunday Update - 12/09/2007
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Sunday, December 09, 2007 9:53 PM
Subject: Sunday update
Hello everyone,
Just a quick update to let you know how my Mom is doing. They said yesterday would be the toughest day post surgery and we sure could tell a big difference today. I was in the room this morning when Dr. Perez visited her and he said that she is about six days ahead of where he would expect her to be and told her in several different ways that she is doing great. He also qualified his comments by saying that she needs to believe him - that he's honest whether the news is good or bad. He also said that he's targeting Wednesday to let her go home.
I think she's ready for some visitors for those of you who have been asking. We noticed she was most alert just before lunch (11-12) and dinner (5-6) today. Those are probably good guidelines for anyone who wants to visit her Monday. She is in room 493 St. Lukes downtown. They are experimenting with her pain medicine - don't be surprised if she gets really sleepy after a short conversation. I can send another update tomorrow with more suggestions for Tuesday.
Thank you once again for all of the wonderful and encouraging responses we've received. I read another round of e-mail to Mom last night and she was thrilled to hear from people. She was feeling pretty down yesterday and all words of encouragement helped. You can send notes via e-mail to me if you'd like me to read them or we are happy to take cards mailed to her house to her in the hospital.
Hope everyone had a great weekend,
Abbie

surgery went well - 12/08/2007
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Saturday, December 08, 2007 1:45 AM
Subject: surgery went well!

Hello Everyone!
My Mom's surgery went really well today. When Dr. Hayes visited us in the waiting area she was ecstatic explaining to us how strong Mom was during the surgery and that her body acted like it didn't even notice they were in there doing surgery. Dr. Perez held a family meeting and said it was a "grand slam", that he was incredibly meticulous and that he's done thousands of surgeries to date and that he's never had a smoother surgery. Wow!
The surgery took about 5 hours total. He removed the pelvic cavity, removed the ovary, did a couple of bowel resections and removed and tested the abdominal lymph nodes. The initial tests on the lymph nodes came back negative, which is good. They did find a tumor on one side of her diaphragm, which means they now believe the cancer to be at a Stage 3C (not B). Dr. Perez did say that Mom didn't have as many tumors overall as other Stage 3C patients he's seen. Pathology reports are still a few days away.
Mom was in quite a bit of pain the first hour she was in her hospital room, which was hard to see. They got that dialed and she has been in and out of short (sometimes funny) conversations with us all evening. One of the first things I said to her was that her doctors said she performed like a "rock star". She has since asked me several times "tell me more about being a rock star". My other favorite quotes from her include several random swear words that first hour (I won't put in writing), "oh, what a day...." and last, but certainly not least "we're gonna nail this, aren't we".
My Dad is staying with her in the hospital tonight and Kelli and I will be back up early tomorrow. I will send another e-mail update in the next couple of days.
Thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts, words, prayers, and energy. I read many notes to her before going to the hospital this morning which provided for some smiles, laughs and tears, which all made her feel very loved. She said she was "lucky" and we all responded "it's not luck- you are loved because you are wonderful".
All our best and sincere gratitude,
Abbie, Kelli and Bruce

Pam is having surgery Friday (tomorrow) - 12/06/07:
From: Parker, Abbie J
Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2007 6:13 PM
Subject: Pam is having surgery Friday (tomorrow)
Hello Everyone,
We had a good visit with Dr. Perez this afternoon and have quite a bit of information as well as some timelines to share.
The short summary is that the doctors believe it is ovarian cancer and Mom goes into surgery Friday the 7th (tomorrow!) at 9am at St. Lukes downtown with Dr. Perez and Dr. Hayes. It is very important to my Mom to have the surgery quickly to remove the cancer - so this was good news. She will be in the hospital for 5-10 days and will begin chemotherapy 3 weeks after the surgery. Her chemotherapy will last 18 weeks. The Doctor summarized the prognosis by saying she can do this and she will be with us for years.
For those of you who, like me, want more details, here is what I took away:
the doctors believe it is ovarian cancer, and Dr. Perez is hypothesizing it is Stage 3B (scale of 1-4), but he won't know for sure on either until after the surgery
Dr. Perez also believes this has likely been manifesting only for the last 3 months
Surgery is involved: they will remove her ovary, a section of her colon to remove a tumor, all other tumors they've seen and any other tumors they find after doing a thorough search.
Surgery is expected to take two hours to half a day
In the next few days they should complete pathology and genetic tests (to see if she is a carrier for a gene mutation which may have caused this)
Recovery from surgery should be about two weeks
Chemotherapy will include two drugs: Taxol (Paclitaxel) and Carboplatin
She will receive one treatment every three weeks for 18 weeks
Chemotherapy will be administered Intravenously (IV for short) and Intraperitoneal (IP for short). IV administration is done by inserting a needle into a vein in the body - near the neck I believe. IP administration is done through a surgically implanted catheter directly into the abdomen. IP is relatively new, but shows better survival rates due to administration being closer to the cancer area.
Nausea is not likely, but severe fatigue and hair loss are expected along with other not so fun side affects
the combination of surgery and chemotherapy provide a 5 year - 50% survival rate. The doctor explained that these may not sound good, but they are good especially when considering that many people aren't as healthy and young as my mother.
another FYI - the doctor said that 90% of the ovarian cancer cases he sees have been previously diagnosed with IBS and/or diverticulitis (digestive issue with the large intestine). My mother thought some of the issues she was experiencing the last few months were due to a previous diverticulitis diagnosis. Turns out they weren't and she is smart for pressing the doctors.
The doctor recommended significantly limiting visitation at first so my Mom can rest (he could tell instantly that my Mom is social and surrounded by friends and family who love her). At this point we are thinking it is best to ask for no visitors the first couple of days. After that, I'll e-mail everyone with some guidelines on hours of the day Mom is most ready to be social and looking forward to company.
Thank you to everyone for your kind notes. I read every one of them to my Mom this morning and she was happy to hear from you all and very touched by the amazing response we received. The last 48 hours have been filled with emotion and anxiety and being reminded of the strong bonds Mom has certainly helps us all.
Check your e-mail again Saturday morning, as I'll try to have another update to you by then.
With Love -
Abbie (and the entire Parker family)

Update on Pam's Health:
Hello Everyone,
It has only been a few months since I wrote telling you that my mother was doing well and had a good health prognosis. Unfortunately, I'm writing today with some scary news and asking you all to keep my mother in your thoughts and prayers.
She was scheduled yesterday for an outpatient procedure to have her ovary removed. They did not follow through with the procedure because they found suspicious spots on her ovary, intestine and near her liver (above it, but not on it). Before taking her out of surgery they sent a sample to pathology and the results came back positive for epithelial tumor which they believe to be malignant and reported to my Dad that they found more cancer. Needless to say, yesterday and today have been very difficult and emotional.
Her primary physician said it is "very unusual" - it could be the breast cancer, it is more likely ovarian cancer, but she is missing some of the traditional indicators for ovarian cancer (blood tests showed very low CA-125 count, her ovary has shrunk since Spring - not grown). My Dad and I are suggesting that it is just like my Mom to have to be unique.
We know very little at this time. They have scheduled an appointment with a specialist (Dr. Perez) for tomorrow. They are confident that she will face an involved surgery to remove all of the "spots" they find, her ovary, pelvic lymph nodes and possibly part of her intestine. My Mom is extremely organized. She's been on the phone organizing conversations between various doctors and lobbying to find a way to get the surgery done soon. Apparently surgeons are busy in December as lots of people schedule procedures before end of year due to insurance deadlines.
I will do my best to keep you all informed as we learn more. My mom asked her primary doctor what she should be doing and she suggested my mom go and finish her Christmas shopping. So - that is what we are going to do today. My sister found a way on to the first flight out of France and should be here tonight. Please do send positive energy our way, but I would like to suggest that people not send flowers. Although kind and beautiful, Mom has already decorated for Christmas and the festive house is full of greenery plus a few arrangements that have already arrived.
Wishing you and yours the best this holiday season. Kind Regards,
Abbie